ASTRO-PSYCHIC TIPS APRIL 2013! Kris Fontaine

Aries March 21-April 20

In the stellar April mix is one project that could kick-start a plucky cycle for you. Present well, and you are in for the long haul. Clearly, the new rule of thumb for love is ‘add a little sugar!’*

Taurus April 21-May 21

There’s a team of personal planets sparking up your irrational switch, so watch those old demons don’t come out to play. On the flip side, this may indirectly prompt your next career move or a residential shift. Go figure.*

Gemini May 22-June 21

Is a situation or lover bordering on high maintenance? If you have recently entered the commitment, it’s not too late to review. Already fully involved? Then take a deep breath, and give it one-hundred percent!*

Cancer June 22-July 23

You’re thrown a cosmic financial line which helps you over a hefty hump. Avoid making excuses when approached by an ex-partner or boss to tie up some loose ends. Meanwhile, a new body of work keeps your hands busy.*

Leo July 24-August 23

Your planets scream ‘loved-up month’! Note the conditions: you must make the initial move, don’t have extreme expectations, and be clear about what you’re prepared to deliver and accept. So far you haven’t managed to nail all three.*

Virgo August 24-September 23

Gearing up a major venture or challenging relationship won’t faze you. Actually, you’re so ready to exhibit your talents with more tangible elements that you jump on top of your case. A little bitchcraft wouldn’t do any harm either.*

Libra September 24-October 23

A partnership you thought had a use-by date charges ahead. That thing you figured would last forever signals ‘over’. This big flip gives you a reality check, as you only hold onto items that genuinely tick your box.*

Scorpio October 24-November 22

Rethink your financial habits and to-do list, Scorpio. A simple budget trim, coupled with some easy DIY jobs could fast-track your domestic dream. Drumming some common sense into your partner or housemates could seriously help too.*

Sagittarius November 23-December 21

Your personal world looks lovely, your headspace leans towards peace, and your body loses that stress. Ten points for giving a Cancerian crazy chick the flick. The lake of lies has fully dried up.  Pull your play princess out.*

Capricorn December 22-January 20

Up for flirting and circulating? Come out of that dark place and slip into happier days. Singles: get ready for a hot connection that’s already on speed dial. Hitched Cappies kick-start a new business or jump on a plane.*

Aquarius January 21-February 19

The cosmic buzz around money means that substantial deposit or essential buy is locked in. Showcase your polished bod and cherry smile when it’s hook-up time with your perfect match (but keep your perfect bitch shut down!).*

Pisces February 20-March 20

Those perky planets point to rediscovering the dating game, renting a room or signing up for study. On paper, it’s on point, and could double as a stress-buster. Just double-check the time and financial cost.*

*Go to ‘Request Reading’ to order your personal email or phone reading!

Kris Fontaine

Mistress of New Age

 

STALKING EXES! (SCORPIO SATURN SQUARE AQUARIUS MARS)

The Stalking Ex (or SEx) is so not an unusual event, by any stretch of the … um … imagination… but with Scorp Saturn (sexual frustration) squaring Aquarius Mars (group action) right about now, there currently seems to be an influx of these crazed creatures. You know the type, they like to roam in pairs, flicking their self-righteous, hypocritical, two-faced, self-pitying poison wherever they go. These are the keyboard cowards, hiding behind the ‘safety’ of a screen, basking in their denial, unsuccessfully hoping to keep their professional or public face in tact, telling their one-sided story to whoever will listen (yawn!). The passive-aggressive professional victims, the unethical losers, the boundariless bores, the ones who refuse to let go (but profess not to care – yeah right!) – the type who gather in groups, and try to pull recruits, going in for the kill, as their ex-target ends the next relationship. You can almost hear the SEx’s thought process, something like: ‘oh good, here comes another of my ex’s cast-offs – i know, i will pop on my ill-fitting compassionate hat and get another ally for my collection – that will make me RIGHT and the ex WRONG!’ – you gotta laugh at the mentality… Meanwhile, the SEx’s exes come to you with their parallel story of how hideous life was with these tortured souls – but you have enough sense and maturity not to get into the toxic drama or lower yourself to the SEx’s level. Yanno, it doesn’t matter how flat you make a hot cake, it always has two sides, and anyone with any sense would not be sucked in by the Stalking Ex’s sad ways – only maybe another of your scorned exes who can’t look at their own behaviour. Solution: stay strong, know who you are, keep real , and don’t sweat the small stuff – and, remember, the Stalking Ex is suffering in their own stale juices… sending Light…

2013 make it obscene…

Kris xx Mistress of New Age