SERIOUSLY OBSCENE – NYE 2013!

With party-girl Moon in Leo striking it hot with sexually experimental Mars in Aquarius, and both joining hands for a three-way flirt-fest with gregarious Venus and Mercury in Sag, expect the New Year’s Eve pressure of die-hard Saturn in Scorpio to be given the cold shoulder. Indeed, you still may have to attend to those dutiful bedroom favours, and you might even have to squeeze the last drop of juice out of a going-down relationship, or make yourself go extremely hard a new love interest… But chances are, that naughty Aries Uranus will give you a wake-up call before the New Year slips into place – and right on time too!… Year of the Snake is meandering towards us y’all… so which way will you choose to go? As low as a snake’s belly, or ready to swallow 2013’s fiesty feast whole…?

Kris xx Mistress of New Age

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS 2013!

Considered which resolutions you plan to break in 2013 – just kidding!… Seriously, Jupiter in Gemini puts communication high on the list (study on the agenda?…  big-talk time with your partner?… or possibly it’s time to say your piece to that CEO?); Saturn in Scorpio insists you make those resolutions stick (ready to give up that addiction?… set to pay off that credit card?… or geared to stay on track with a career climb?) . While Uranus in Aries throws you the wild card (brave enough to work overseas?… tagged for a tree or sea-change?… or primed to change careers?): Neptune in Pisces washes you with compassionate self-promises (up for smoothing things over with a lover?… or vowing to show your soft underbelly with a family issue?… or maybe your mind’s set on some inner peace?); whilst a Capricorn Pluto commands you to go to practical extremes (eager to pluck that naughty food from the pantry?… serious about keeping your boundaries tight with an ex?… or perhaps you want to spend less time staring at that screen?)…

Your call, your year, your happiness laying on the line!

Kris xx Mistress of New Age

THE DIRT ON POSING PROFESSIONALS – PLUTO IN CAPRICORN

Pluto is about digging the dirt, weeding out the worms and penetrating the politics… and working her way through Capricorn, you can rest assured that the low-life members of professional bodies (the good ones: respect) will be outed, revealed and made to pay! Think politicians, police, psychologists, teachers, religious leaders for example – they won’t have the advantage of sitting in their ego-based positions controlling, manipulating, blaming, twisting, and not owning their own stuff … anything underhanded, sly, emotionally-manipulating or non-kosher will be showcased – they will be eating their own words in 2013 – the turkies!

Kris xx Mistress of New Age

ASTRO-PSYCHIC TIPS JANUARY 2013

Aries March 21-April 20*

Venus teases your chart’s tip as you settle into your 2013 comfort zone.  Expect charismatic charmers, creative channels and cocksure characters to lavishly make-over your life. Simultaneously, Uranus tempts you with fully wired challenges. Scene set for 2013, Aries.

 

Taurus April 21-May 21*

On your mark to launch that health kick or workout program! Avoid freezing those New Year resolutions, Taurus, while trusting your support team assists you to stay on track. Re that family bully or harsh online comment? Ignore – it’s so 2012.

 

Gemini May 22-June 21*

The ample Moon/Jupiter opposition means dishing out some hands-on partner-pampering or family favours. Feeling guilty about ignoring a certain person or failing to keep a promise? Grab the opportunity to make amends. It’s a lose-lose situation if you don’t, Gemini. 

 

Cancer June 22-July 23*

Your wild imagery works for you, Cancer, particularly if restyling your home or updating your wardrobe. On the flip side, don’t get sucked into OTT suspicions aimed at your partner or love interest. You hardly want to repack this baggage for your 2013 travels.

 

Leo July 24-August 23*

The Sun/Mercury/Pluto trio turns up the volume in your personal life, and gives you a hand with the office party or random hook-up fallout. 2013 is pegged to be your year of extreme change, but you need to settle those outstanding emotional debts first.

 

Virgo August 24-September 23*

A fundamental emotional issue that’s stopped you treating your body like a temple or taking the next step in a relationship is tagged for sorting. Hit on 2013 with your work-out group, regain your affection for the great outdoors, and start appreciating who is at your service.

 

Libra September 24-October 23*

The Sun/Mercury/Pluto three-way is your cue to sooth shattered involvements, heal hurt feelings, and sort those post-mix-and-mingle complications. The trick: listen up when someone shares, and exhibit empathy, rather than throw a pity-party. Rehearse your lines and breathe out.

 

Scorpio October 24-November 22*

Dial up your inner-warrior, Scorpio! A fearless chat with loved ones or house-mates ensures more personal space and a greater chance of establishing your position on prevalent issues. Make sure you are cashed-up and suitably accessorised for the unexpected offer or homecoming.

 

Sagittarius November 23-December 21*

Practise up in order to flick that bad habit, munch on healthy sticks and head to the gym on a regular basis. Romance steps into the mix as you leap into an unexpected affair, resurrect a past passion or create a relationship turnaround.

 

Capricorn December 22-January 20*

Saturn insists you organise a special investment, open a joint account or indulge in sensible shopping (new sheets are a must!). Hold tight as you go from zero to plumper-purse, which won’t simply bring balance back into your financial world, but could indirectly restore your love-life.

 

Aquarius January 21-February 19*

The skilfully karmic Saturn/Chiron trine promises a financial project or professional opportunity comes to fruition in January. The catch? You need to embrace your inner CEO and direct the traffic with those involved. And Aquarius, it’s time to make serious plans with that interstater.

 

Pisces February 20-March 20*

Go harder if you want someone to get how sad or sorry you are. Be gentle with yourself, because you can’t expect to lose that negative mind-chatter until you get real with how you feel. Unexpected monetary motion injects some optimism into your month.

(*SIGN DATES HEADS-UP: These are the average dates – due to the earth’s tilt on its axis – if your birthday falls at the beginning or end of a sign [on the ‘cusp’] check a planetary ephemeris or have your personal horoscope chart erected to see which sign your Sun was officially assigned to at birth. )

ASTRO-PSYCHIC TIPS – JANUARY 2013

KRIS FONTAINE, MISTRESS OF NEW AGE

©Kris Fontaine, 2012

CAPRICORN PLUTO 2012: PASSION BUSINESS

As 2012 does its finale, you may be experiencing situations reversing and transforming in your life: circumstances coming to an end, valuable people coming back into your life, and worn out relationships creeping into the background or completely leaving your building… It’s the practical face of Pluto in Capricorn unmasked, as she purges toxic elements from your world – ones that are likely to hinder your transition into 2013.

Having paid through the nose for bad 2012 choices and extreme obsessions, it’s time to dig deep for emotional strength, and re-establish your sexual drive. Capricorn likes to file away finished business, calculate new business and pull out your inner Ambition-Ambassador. While Capricorn bathes in Pluto’s therapeutic waters, it’s your cue to revitalise your deepest desires, make passion your business, plunge into the perfect partnership and invest in the best there is. Your standards are rising. Be your own therapist and work your change-room!

Kris xx Mistress of New Age

GRAB HOLD BEFORE THE SWELL!

Hey y’all FYI my professional fees will rise as of 1 January 2013.  No panic, they will still be doable, but more reflective of my longtime experience, acclaimed abilities and gold-star reputation. So please take advantage of my current fee structure and order your email or phone reading before the New Year comes!

Kris xx Mistress of New Age

SWEET 6 YEAR 2013 – TEASING TANTRICALLY

2013 Number 6 Year sits sweetly on our doorstep…

If you’ve found 2012 to be incredibly exciting, opened yourself up to more creativity, made babies, adopted a pet or plunged passionately into romance… on the flip side, you’ve also been pumped with unexpected change, annoying disruption and extreme upset …(and if it’s been a Personal Number 5 year, as has been the case with moi, it’s been even more prevalent!).  This is all in preparation for the healing, calming, loving and emotionally fulfilling Number 6 twelve months coming up in 2013. More coming soon…

Kris xx Mistress of New Age

2013 ECONOMY PUMPS!

Aside

A hard period does a one-eighty around June/July 2013 – production, consumption and distribution form a nice three-way – while the Earth’s pop becomes better bedmates with the global ecosystem (hold your breath!).

Kris xx

Mistress of New Age

DECEMBER 2012 ASTRO-PSYCHIC TIPS by KRIS FONTAINE

Aries March 21-April 20
Your inner problem-solver rears its head, as holiday plans require attention or a household issue reaches a dead end. Venus gives you the heads up on who really gets you, and seriously deserves that cracker romantic surprise.

Taurus April 21-May 21
The Moon/Jupiter link has that hottie planting a late festive kiss on your pout. A hidden talent slips into view, so suck up the knowledge and get the lowdown on how you can further develop it.

Gemini May 22-June 21
Neptune’s undulating energy means getting rhythmical at social gigs, drinking water, and tapping into your desires as they come. Diss unfortunate one-way attractions and lose the tag on leftovers. Bolting with grace is your save.

Cancer June 22-July 23
The Sun/Pluto duo screams NEW CHAPTER, Cancer! You’re about to locate your ideal lover, rekindle a relationship or give an ex a second chance. It’s all about attitude, how you present and, of course, what you wear!

Leo July 24-August 23
The Moon/Jupiter hook-up introduces you to an elite group of individuals primed to assist your career-advancement. Lock lips with an out-of-towner or exchange heated looks with that shy local across the table.

Virgo August 24-September 23
The Sun/Pluto connection means intensity-plus when a past involvement shows up or you realise how fast things are moving with a newcomer. While you’re on automatic pilot in one zone, you feel out-of-control in another. Take five to re-centre.

Libra September 24-October 23
Team Sun/Mars/Pluto puts baby-making or home-making in the spotlight. Meantime, visitors swing by unexpectedly, when you’re not up for entertaining or social chit-chat. This is not a license to have a head spin, because it will be doable.

Scorpio October 24-November 22
Search for top tips linked to home-buying, house-sharing or stylish renovating. Keep those fingers busy calculating a budget, checking off your to-do list or recycling last season’s apparel. All geared towards the New Year!

Sagittarius November 23-December 21
Not sure if you should let someone down gently, give it another whirl, or bolt immediately…? Things could come out sideways if you shelve the decision. It’s a case of either staying put or making tracks fast.

Capricorn December 22-January 20
A glamorous introduction or sizzling online chat has hints of ‘soul-mate’ coming through, as the compatibility seems simply spooky! This kick-starts a spanking new relationship for some, while others need to be wary of hitting the self-destruct button.

Aquarius January 21-February 19
This isn’t the time to go solo, work overtime or push someone away, Aquarius. You could get a buzz out of interacting; and besides, your partner or an admirer has a special package with your name on it.

Pisces February 20-March 20
Your financial and love metre pops in December, Pisces. You’re on a mission to indulge someone to the max; and with your creativity on fire and feelings turned up high, you can’t possibly miss the mark!